Good 'ol Bert

[dave]

So old man Bert always wanted a pair of cowboy boots, saw some for sale at a store and went in and got them, wore them home. The wife is in the kitchan and he walks in and ask's "notice anything different?" Wife looks at him and says "No". Bert gets a 'lil upset, goes to the bedroom and strips down to nothing but the boots. "Now you notice anything different" wife answers no and he gets angry and asks "What are you blind?" She says, "Bert, it was hanging down yesterday, its hanging down today and it will be hanging down tomorrow". He says, "Do you know why its hanging down?" She says "Don't know, Bert". "Well" says Bert "its lookin at my new boots!". "You shoulda got a hat Bert, you shoulda got a hat."

[da gimp]

Thanks for the grins,,,,,

[BOB LOUGHLIN]

I'm sending this one to all my Old Codger friends....Thanks.

[Marine A5 Sniper]

Good one, depressing a bit, but a good one.

jt

[Marine A5 Sniper]

I had a guy working for me in Louisiana, and I promoted him to foreman, which gave him a limited expense account. The first one he sent in had as one of the items a pair of expensive cowboy boots (about $400). I called him and told him he couldn't expense personal clothing, and he needed to re-do his expense account. Shortly after, I received an expense report that was five pages long, with the notation; "Find them boots now". I approved it.

jt

[RED]

I had a guy working for me in Louisiana, and I promoted him to foreman, which gave him a limited expense account. The first one he sent in had as one of the items a pair of expensive cowboy boots (about $400). I called him and told him he couldn't expense personal clothing, and he needed to re-do his expense account. Shortly after, I received an expense report that was five pages long, with the notation; "Find them boots now". I approved it.

I knew a guy named Ralph that ran a wholesale grocery warehouse that had over 500 employees. Ralph would do a lot of traveling to trade shows etc. and would file a weekly expense report. The auditors noticed that almost every report had an entry PACR and a $ amount. Finally the Board of Directors called Ralph and wanted to know what PACR was and why no receipts.

He told them it stood for "Pissed Away, Can't Remember." Every Monday he would take cash out of his bank for "incidentals" and at the end of the week would count his cash remaining and the difference he entered under "PACR."

The Board fired him... Seems he had "pissed away" about $50,000. True story.

[Guamsst]

Semi related, when I first joined the Air Force the personnel office was called C.B.P.O. A trick I learned from some wise old MSgts was to put CBPO on the board when you left work or if asked where you had been simply say CBPO. I learned how great this was when a MSgt confronted another MSgt and said "I was just at CBPO and didn't see you there." The reply was, "that's cause I was at the Commissary, Bx and Post Office"....LOL